Monday, September 5, 2011

Readjustments and Priorities

I am currently digging myself out of the post-reading-a-series stupor.  Its that strange lingering feeling that you get after watching Gossip Girl for 12 hours straight or after you stayed up until 4 am to finish a Harry Potter book you bought 24 hours earlier.

I just finished the Hunger Games series, and while I will be the first to admit it is no Harry Potter, I did get an attachment to the characters and a bit immersed into their lives (seeing that I started the first book-- there are 3 in total-- earlier this week.)  Yesterday composed of me lying in bed for hours on end finishing the book and then me wandering around hopelessly not sure what to do with myself.

Anyways, that dive into mytho-world is just what I needed because I had started to stress myself out.  Some of you reading may only follow a few friends' blogs, etc, while others are like me.  Curators of a fully active and obsessively tracked Google Reader account filled with whitty writing, amazing DIY, and the most fashionable ladies you (don't) know.  Like reading a young adult's novel for hours on end, this can mess with your mind.  I started to become completley absorbed with my (in)ability to match the talents of other bloggers.  I needed to not only make delicious meals, but let's be honest, I wanted to invent the recipes myself.  I wanted to DIY my entire apartment, and convinced myself that if I stalked thrift stores for amazing vintage-y finds, I was going to (also) find some fulfilling elation.  I was forcing myself to enjoy spending every weekend walking the aisles of Hobby Lobby, TJ Maxx, Micheals, and every other store in a 15 mile radius hunting for the most amazing bargains so I could say I redid our entire apartment for a measly $36.48.

What happened? I couldn't live up.  I found myself drawn to doing things, that well, I have always loved doing.  I was cooking meals every night inspired by recipes I found online.  And I frankly didn't want to experiment with the food that I had spent money on, so I just stuck to the recipe.  I plopped myself down in front of Netflix and watched the corniest wedding-related movie I had seen in quite some time (You Again) and munched on popcorn.  And I consumed myself in a good book, something that I had been denying myself for no good reason.  But the truth is that an afternoon spent lounging about reading a good book and drinking lemonade, was just as good as an afternoon spent stenciling the back of your bookcases. (something I'm pretty sure I won't be doing...)

I am happy to say that this blog is serving its purpose, its making me thoughtfully examine my actions and how it plays into my satisfying (or in some cases unsatisfying) life.  So what I am I going to be up to?

Well I will still be decorating our apartment, but probably with stuff that feels like me.  Its going to be personal, colorful, and a little messy (as Alex reminded me, that's us, we're kind of messy people).  I am going to start training for a 5k in October (  Also, I am going to keep cooking.  I have found that hours can pass and if I am in the kitchen wrapped up with a recipe, I am perfectly content.

What am I going to ease up on? Hunting craigslist and thrift stores for "amazing" furniture finds that are really sad pieces of furniture that will need 10 hours of my time to become something worthwhile having.  Convincing myself I am will be able to sew everything I (and my future children) will wear-- though I am still convinced something is not right with my sewing machine and its really not me.  And hopefully I will let go of this ideal that I am supposed to be this super woman capable of calligraphy, gardening, DIYing everything in sight, and loving every minute of it. 

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